Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
