I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
