so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
