Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm going to jail i love you
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
