I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Be still, my beating vagina.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
