Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
