i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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