I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
