Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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