so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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