Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just forgot I was standing up.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
