Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
