When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
this is an emotional support booty call
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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