did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
