but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
