areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
