This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize