Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
