Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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