angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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