just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I need moral support for this bender
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
