It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
