I cannot find my penis.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
