I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize