im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
