no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
