The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
