The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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