R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
