Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize