I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize