I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
