My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
