Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
