We're like a lot better than the average bears
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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