It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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