so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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