love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
