is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
