dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
