Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
