Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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