If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
