How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
