Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
