): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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