I just saw a hot homeless man
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize