i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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