My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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