Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize