i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
