Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
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