i don't like sucking hair
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
