Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
