he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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