i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize