It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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