At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
