Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
